In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I will share some about my breastfeeding experience with you.
I didn’t breastfeed Johnny. It was never something I wanted to do and never tried. I was perfectly happy starting him on formula when he was born. Thinking back now, I think I was scared and knew that it wouldn’t work. I had to go back to work after he was born. I had nowhere, and I mean nowhere where I would be able to pump at my job. Besides the fact that I rarely got a lunch, let alone a break to do so. I knew that it was just not going to work out. I was and still am okay with the decision.
When I became pregnant with Joley, I decided to try. I honestly thought I would hate it. I bought a pump with the question of maybe trying to pump exclusively. I had such reservations about breastfeeding but really wanted to try.
Fast forward to when Joley was born. Her birth was traumatic, to say the least. I have no recall of feeding her the first time even though we do have a picture of it. I had no help from the nurses or staff. She was born in the evening and the Lactation Consultants were both gone. The next day, same story. I kept trying and became more and more anxious about her lack of latching on and problems we were experiencing. I didn’t give up though. I knew I had to try to make it work.
Finally, I got some help from a wonderful Lactation Specialist. She brought me a shield and I was able to start feeding Joley. It was hard. Really hard. She didn’t latch correctly, I didn’t know what I was doing and I was so worn out.
Once home, things improved. I was still using the shield but knew it had to become part of our history. I hated using it. It was such a burden and Joley couldn’t latch on without it. She was 3 weeks old when I decided enough was enough. It was a rough few days but we eventually tossed that shield and have been breastfeeding without any aids ever since!
Joley had some weight gain issues and we had to supplement a bottle of expressed milk for awhile. Despite some unsupportive people, I kept going. Pumping everyday for a bottle is when I learned that the pump is not my friend. I really despise pumping. I knew at that point that I wanted to breastfeed the way God intended. I wanted to hold my baby close and let her get her nourishment from me.
My breastfeeding has not always been great. I have had my share of complaints and ups and downs. I can say that after 7 months, I love it. I love holding her. I love the sounds she makes when she gets a letdown of milk and how big her eyes get when it happens. I have no desire to quit and even torture myself daily with medicine so that I can continue. It is worth it though. The joy that I feel when I hold my little girl is worth much more than I can say or even begin to write here.
