New Year’s Eve of 2012 is when everything kinda happened. Jemma wasn’t feeling well and she slept in the chair with me all night. It was the next day that I decided to take her to the hospital and the whole nightmare started and continued for 32 days.
I have been a ball of nerves this past week. I have told you all before how I honestly think I have PTSD from Jemma’s hospitalization. It doesn’t take much for me to get a flashback and the nightmares come often. I still worry when her nose starts to run and coughing sends me to the closet for my stethoscope. I can’t help it.
But, she has come so very far. We weren’t sure how long it would take her to walk and the doctors were concerned it would be months. It was within a week that she was up on her feet and moving again.
Jemma is a fighter and she keeps proving that to me. She has some breathing issues but they haven’t been bad enough to warrant medication in months. She remembers some of what happened (you can tell when she goes to the doctor) but she isn’t suffering the stress of the hospital stay.
I love this baby more than anything in this world. Being able to take care of her every day of her life is a blessing. I remember being worried that she wouldn’t make it out of the hospital and, while I still worry, I am so thankful that we have her in our lives. She is a miracle and I am blessed.
This year, we won’t be spending it in a chair and I don’t foresee any trips to the hospital. We are going out as a family and we are going to have fun. I’ll be saying a prayer of thanks that my sweet Jemma is able to do that with us.
One more thing… going through pictures it amazes me how much her hair has grown! She started the year with baby hair and it was cut in the hospital due to IVs. It is now half way down her back and is gorgeous, white blond with tons of curls!
Ashley M says
My daughter also had a crazy hospital scare on the day of her first birthday. Every time she falls I freak out so I know how you feel. Hope your 2014 nye was better!
I’m so glad that she is doing well now! Children are so resilient! I hope that you are able to find ways to calm your fears as time goes on. I always assume the worst when my daughter falls ill, it’s just natural for us moms.
It makes me so happy to see how well Jemma is doing. That was all so scary. I am not at all surprised that this time of the year brings you back. That’s not something a parent can get over easily.
Katherine G says
Your baby girl is beautiful!! While i haven’t read you’re journey.I’m glad your baby is back to 100%.
I am so glad she is doing so well. She is such a beautiful girl!
She’s gorgeous! Picture of good health. Glad 2014
Started better than last year
No hospital visits this year! I can imagine how traumatizing that would have been. No repeats of that this year!
It doesn’t seem like a year passed. My heart would break each time I would read one of your updates that weren’t for the best. I am so glad she is much healthier today and yes she sure has grown!
Sending up prayers for good health and good/fun times for you! She is precious and you are a great Mommy!
Wishing you a wonderful, healthy, happy year. She sure is adorable!!
Ellen Christian says
What a cutie pie! My daughter has asthma and has been in the ER several times for breathing issues. It’s definitely scary.
What a beautiful little girl! I just read the back story and how you were able to handle all that as a mother is beyond me. I couldn’t even imagine being in your place a year ago. She looks like she has definitely come a long way.
Amy Desrosiers says
Aww, little Jemma is certainly a doll! I’m so glad she is doing much better! My middle child was hospitalized when she was born and it was such an awful time!
Gah, she is just so much cuteness. I am so happy that she is doing well. I can’t imagine going through what you did. Prayers and wishes for a healthy 2014!
Ashley McLure says
Glad to hear she’s doing so well! Enjoy your family outings.
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
She is adorable and I am happy that your nightmare is in the past – let’s keep it that way. She’s had enough.
I am so happy that she is better this year! I can’t imagine all the worry a parents must feel when their baby is sick!
She is so, so cute. I hope that this is a better year for you and your family!
Virginia @thatbaldchick says
What a precious girl she is. So glad this year started differently for you, and that your little fighter has such spunk!
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says
I wish you a year of good health and happiness! I’m so glad that she’s pretty much forgotten the gist of the hospital experience. 🙂
I think the flashbacks and nightmares and fear are our minds way of continuing to protect us from the trauma of what happened. Our minds are still preparing us for the worst so we won’t be caught off guard–we feel the fear of it happening again and the mind goes into planning mode. In an instant, our mind has a plan, everything all laid out, taking control of this thing that could happen again. And we have to give our minds a little shake and our stern voice as we tell it to cut it out–it isn’t happening again, everything is fine, go away Fear and let me enjoy my baby’s good health. Fear grumbles a bit but eventually goes and sits in the shadows but out of the corner of your eye you see a little flutter–Fear is waving that gameplan at you, reminding you that the corners of your mind are still preparing for the thing you hope never happens again.