I have shared with you before the amazing events that happen at my church on the first Wednesday of the month called Inspire. After a break for the summer, they have began again. Once again, the music was amazing, the worship alive, and the my tears flowed freely. But, I am not going to talk to you about what Inspire was about because I realized something even greater tonight thanks to Inspire.
I went with a great friend and we met another friend from our MOMS group for dinner. We then went over to church and worshiped together and with some other friends (and a large amount of visitors and members of the church). As I was sitting there among my friends, praying with and for them, I realized that I have isolated myself… again.
This isn’t the first time. Things happen in my life and I pull away. I pull away from my friends and even my family. Mike has felt the distance. I didn’t talk to my friends for a large portion of the summer. Basically, ever since we found that my uncle has a terminal illness (which I am still trying to get the courage to post about), I have felt broken. I haven’t been praying the way I was. I haven’t been feeling God’s presence in my life. I haven’t been a good friend.
I go to church every Sunday and it is my foundation for my week. I need that each week. So, why do I walk out of the doors and forget what I am doing? Prior to a few months ago, I had a strong relationship with God and felt a connection in my daily life. Now, I have fleeting moments where I feel a presence and the rest I am struggling to find my way.
Tonight, I realized that my friends are a source of God’s love in my life. I need them as much as I need to go to church and as much as I need to pray. I have my mom, my sister, and my husband and I am eternally blessed because of that. My friends though, the ones that brought me closer to Christ to begin with through MOMS, are people I need in my life. I need to have those phone calls, texts, emails and play dates. I need to have their hugs and give them back.
Tonight, I prayed over a friend. I prayed for my friends. I have made a promise that I will not disappear from my friend’s lives again. Even if I am ready to hole myself up in my house, I will reach out and talk to them. Even if I don’t want to leave my house and want to sit in my pajamas all day, I will still call my friends to make that connection that I need so badly. When I am away from my friends, I can convince myself that everything is okay. When I am with them, I realize just how important they are to me. I went several years without having any real friendships. Now that I have them, I need to hold onto them with all my heart.
Beautifully said!
I do the same thing… it’s very easy to hole yourself up. I’m glad for you though that you’ve recognized it about yourself and are working on fixing it!!
It is very easy to get isolated. I always found that going to bible study would keep me more on track with God. Sunday church is awesome but not always enough. So glad you found a path that will bring you back.
I think its normal to do that with friends, but shouldn’t with family. What has happened in my family has me wondering exactly how I feel about a lot of things.
I tend to do that also. I used to work at my church and now I only go on Sundays and don’t even get together with the mom group there. I don’t know why that is. Good for you for recognizing that about yourself and doing something about it!
I’ve pulled away when things happen in my life, too. I look back and think about how much easier those things would have been if I’d turned to my friends instead of disappeared. 🙂