So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
lyrics from The Stand by Hillsong
It is in times like these that I turn to my family, my friends, and God. I am offering all that has happened up to God right now. Only He knows what is best and I am going to trust Him to take care of me and my family. I don’t really know what to say but to let you all know that my family has changed dramatically in a matter of a few days.
On Friday, Mike and I talked and decided to let M stay with his mom more. He will still be riding the bus from our house a few days a week and will be getting off at our house everyday. We will still be a major part of his life. But, if M wants to stay with his mom, we know that he needs to be allowed to do that. We are going to keep up with his schooling to make sure he is doing okay and not falling behind like he did the last time he lived with her. If she moves, which she will, he will be back with us.
Last night, or early this morning really, T decided that she wanted to be with a boy more than she wanted to be part of a loving family. She moved in with her mom once again… a place she has never been happy and actually was neglected on some levels. She was told by all members of her family that she should not move in there because it would be a huge mistake. I lost my cool with her when she acted like it was a hard decision for her. All I could think about was what she was doing to the kids. She is not welcome in my house again… I have been down this road with T too many times. I pick up the pieces of her broken relationship with her mom and stepdad over and over. I can not do it again. She will not be seeing her brother and sisters again in my house. She walked out on them in the middle of the night. She didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye properly. She ran like a coward. So yes, I lost my cool. I shouldn’t have but it happened… all I care about is my kids and their happiness. When she decided to walk on them, I couldn’t handle it.
Last night, we found out that she is back with the boy that we asked her to stay away from for 6 months to get a dose of reality. This is a boy that is abusive to her. He has convinced her that she is not worthy of him and that he is too good for her. He is a loser, flat out. She chose to go live with her mom so she can be with him. She chose to be with him instead of being with a family that loves her and wanted her.
I am not upset about her being gone. I am disappointed in her choices. She is too old to act so childish. She needs to grow up and take some responsibility for her actions… and those will be that she will never live in my house again. I will not allow her to hurt my kids again. I am sad for her because she is really messing up her future. But, her dad and I have done everything we can for her… she has chosen to walk away. Tayler’s decisions and lack of conscience is disturbing. All I can do now is pray for her. Only God can help her now.
In case you are wondering, K is here and has no desire to leave. She is the happiest I have ever seen her. She helped her dad pack up T stuff today and was a whirlwind. She knows how toxic T was to this house and she was ready for it to end. She is also fine with M being with his mom and is glad that she will see him still. K is happy… happy with our family, happy with her brother and sister, and happy with us as her parents. She is smiling more than I have ever seen. She is even being more loving and attentive to all of us. K will be fine.
Johnny and Joley really don’t understand and that is a good thing. We tried to tell Johnny some of what was going on but all he said was that he wanted to make sure K was staying. I am sad for my kids, all of them, though. It is sad that they won’t know their sister the way they deserve. It is sad that she walked out on them.
We will all be okay. Even though we went from a family of 7 to a family of 5 within days, we will be okay. We will be better. We will be happy with what we have and be stronger for what we have gone through.
Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. It is never fun to have your heart stepped on …. but, I am sure God has a reason for everything. Hopefully all the remaining people in the house will flourish and grow stronger.
Wow…you are a strong woman. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Oh Stefany. I’m happy it’s been solved but sad that it reached this point but I always believe that my house should be everyone’s safe haven and anyone that disrupts that needs to go. I won’t be unhappy in my own house.
I’m glad the other kids are handling it well.
First of all take a deep breath and a big {{HUG}} from me 🙂
I am so sorry. I know it will be different and very hard but it sounds like it’s time for a change. You have given it your all and should be very proud for what you have done. Someday they will know how precious their time was with you. They are still young and foolish!
Everything happens it because of God’s will, focus on the children you have at home. Those that have lost their way, we’ll find their way back. After every storm a rainbow appears.
Just hugs hun.
Teens are terribly hard to deal with- they have an almost grown body and not quite a grown up mind. They make mistakes that are so transparent and so frustrating to adults.
Children have such a hard times sometimes with things that are the aftermath of a grown ups decision- ie: divorce/remarriage/new relationships. They feel if they take sides (even if it’s the right place to be) they abandon the other parent. Even if the other parent is abusive, or putting them in a bad situation, it is their parent- it is 1/2 of their makeup.
As a step parent it is hard to watch- you know what is down the road, and it is a heartwrenching journey.
All you can do is pray, and love. You can love the person-not their behavior. I hope in time you relent in letting her see her brothers and sisters – please pray about that.
Much love, from an ‘old lady’ with likely too many words !
As you well know, Our Lord has his hand on you all. May peace be with you. Kenzi’s already bouncing around and happy as can be………God foresaw this. You gave yourself and your children to He who knows the future. Bless you Stefany.
Like I always say, Everything happens for a reason and I think the reason here is your family needed this to happen to be happy and healthy.
{hugs}
My prayers are with you. Sometimes all we can do is give it up to the Lord…putting our future, and the future of other people, into His hands and having faith that His will will be done.
That is all I can do Miriam. I know God knows what is best and I am going to trust him to take care of us all.
Thank you for commenting. This has been a rough thing for our family but I know things are only going to get better.