It seems that some people view “religious people” as a negative thing. They view all people who fall under the term religious as bible-thumpers and preachy. I am neither. Trust me. I’m not and am far from it.
So, here’s the deal. I have been mentioning religion and faith more and more lately. Am I more religious than I was a few months ago? No. Do I have stronger beliefs now? No. But, something has changed in me. I need to feel some sense of belonging again and Church is my outlet for that.
I belong to a huge parish. There are over 4000 families in the parish actually. You may be wondering how I could feel like I belong to anything so large. Well, it isn’t about the Church. It is about the belief. It is about the feeling I get when I am there. It is about my state of being when I walk out of Church. No matter if Joley has cried the whole time or slept like an angel, I still feel peaceful when I walk out.
I am (definitely) not a goody-two-shoes. I make all kinds of mistakes. I cuss. I am not the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, or sister. I try but I always feel like life gets in the way. But, when I started going to church again, I started to feel better. I started to feel like I had something to believe in… and someone that believed in me.
I am very emotional. At the same time, I bottle things up inside of myself until I feel like I am going to explode. I have problems in my life… problems that no one can wave a magic wand and fix. But, I feel like my faith can get me through them and I will come out a stronger, healthier and better person.
Am I religious? Maybe. The question I have is this… I have faith and I believe… does that make me “religious”? Doesn’t being religious just mean I am true to myself and know what is important in my life… my spiritual life? Either way, I am feeling better about the life I am leading every day. Going to Church, praying, joining in on lectures and MOMs group at my Church… those are all things that are shaping me to be the wife and mother I want to be. So, if I am religious, I’ll take it… with an open heart and open mind. I need to for my famiy and for myself.