My next assignments are due on Saturday and next Monday. While it seems like there is a lot of time in between due dates, there isn’t. Maybe if I had no life outside of school it would be a different story.
I finished one paper yesterday. It took me a few hours overall and I think it turned out okay. I am really bad about judging my work and it never being quite good enough. I check and recheck and change things. Then, I change them again. My finished paper is my best effort but sometimes I just don’t think it is good enough even then. Regardless, my first paper is sitting in my professor’s inbox right now. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a good grade because it has been awhile since I have written papers and APA is somewhat different than when I was in school last.
I have another assignment I started working on today. It is not fun. I have 13 questions to answer or research and then I am to put the answers in APA format. I worked on it for a few hours today and my mind is mush. I will come back to it later tonight or tomorrow when I can think clearly again. I have 4 questions completed and 13 more to agonize over.
That brings me to my revelation. I am old. What was I thinking going back to school? I no longer can handle noise when I am studying or writing. I used to only be able to think with some background noise and now it is just the opposite. Also, I am tired. Not the “I partied too much last night and still have to get up and go to class” tired. No. This is the “my baby doesn’t sleep and I need a nap to make it through the evening with 5 kids yelling and screaming” tired. Like I said, I am old.
Back to the original questions… what was I thinking when I signed up to go to school… online school no less… with 5 children? Where did I think I was going to find time to do things for school? How did I figure I would be able to concentrate in a house with pets, kids and a husband who is about deaf (apparently) and has the TV up so loud our neighbors can probably hear it?
I am a determined woman so I know I can do this. At this point in this assignment though, I am wondering why I am putting myself through this all over again. I think it is like pregnancy… you forget how hard it really is until it is time to do it all over again.
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