So, here it is. Nothing has changed. He did an internal today and I am still barely dilated and just starting to thin. I was and am upset. I am tired of hurting so bad all the time and it meaning nothing. We agreed to make an appt next Tuesday. He wants to check my fluid on Tuesday or Wednesday to make sure everything is okay there.
As much as I hate to feel like a hypocrite, I made a decision. My doctor is willing to let me go one week over my due date. That would be December 24, which is also Mike’s birthday. Here is where the hypocrite comes in… I do not want to be in the hospital for Christmas. With 4 kids, it feels wrong and selfish to me. I feel like I am putting my wants in front of all those of Johnny and the kids.
After a lot of tears, I have made a decision. I really, really want to deliver by vbac, but if not, I want to deliver when it will be at a good time for my son and my family. I will be keeping my appt on Tuesday. If I have not delivered by Friday of next week (the 19th), I will be having a cesarean on that day (if the doc agrees to do it that day). I can’t keep watching my blood pressure rise, my swelling getting so bad and my pain make it near impossible to function daily. The SPD is making me miserable with pain.
So, as always, lots of labor vibes and such are requested. I want to have this baby on my own. But, if I don’t, I will talk to my doctor and *hopefully* he will wait until Friday to schedule the cesarean to give me as much time as possible. I think he will wait even though he normally only does them Monday through Thursday.
So, call me a hypocrite about scheduling a cesarean next week. I am feeling okay with this decision though. I have to do what is best for me, the baby and my family. I think I am doing that.